this poem wasn’t planned

i would never
suggest you
trying to be me.

for it is tiring
and sometimes
i cannot wrap
the things that
happen in my
brain.

for i always
feel the sense
of loss and
dream of it
often.

i hurt myself
with my own
thoughts.

i hurt myself
with every
moment i
think about
my past.

and when things settle,
there are times that i
don’t know who i am.
and how i got here.

my love poems are ghost stories

my lover, oh lover,
look what you’ve
done to me.
you’ve captured me
and broken my bones.
i have spilt blood
over you, and the
magic in my veins
has dispersed over the
n o t h i n g n e s s
you and i no
longer hold.
the tether to my soul
has been stripped away.

she says as a ghost
while sinking the
ship he is sailing.
she is the raging dark
storm he never saw coming.

you keep taunting me in my dreams.

if i were a ghost,
i wouldn’t haunt you.
i would haunt the
freedoms i never had
while being with you.

the oceans i never saw with you sing to me.

some kind of self-love

i have found to be
that love is not
as cruel as people
make it out to be.

that although
painful, it is
worthwhile
to have love.

the love that
you have for
yourself,
within
y o u r s e l f .

the love for
yourself
that carries you
and takes you
across oceans.

a type of self-love
that no one can
take away,
no matter who
comes along.

a love for
yourself
that is worth
breathing in
and living.

a self-love that
you will wade for.

a letter to the moon

dear moon,

come sing to me
on the nights
i feel lonely.

know that you can
tell me your
darkest secrets
for i have them too.

please share with me
what the stars
have planned,
yet keep me
in suspense.

may i keep
you company?
you remind me
of myself.

sometimes i look
at you and wonder
if the clouds blanket
you with safety
when you don’t
want to be seen..

because the weight
of the world
probably rest on you,
knowing that i am
not the only person
writing this letter
to the moon.

my poetry book is on sale!

 

IMG_0594hey everyone! i hope you are all having a wonderful day and weekend to come! just wanted to let you all know that while i’m at BookCon, the paperback version of my poetry book is officially on sale for $6.38 via Amazon for the next few days. it’s also on sale on other parts of the world via Amazon. if they ship to you, check it out! be aware that my poetry book has mature content. and if you aren’t into paperbacks, i also have an ebook version with kindle unlimited as well! below are the links!

GoodreadsAmazon USAAmazon UK


synopsis:
one day i met a guy
who stole my heart,
we created a world
for ourselves.
and another day
he broke my heart
and shattered
my soul.

i took the tattered
pieces of this
broken soul and
became anew.

– here lies the hurting, the healing, and the learning


if you’ve read my book already, i would love it if you left a rating and small review on Amazon! it would help me a great deal. thank you! ❤

Instagram: @chicnerdreads
Twitter: @ChicNerdReads
Goodreads: Gretchen (ChicNerdReads)

Mini Spoiler Free Book Review: Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor

Title: Strange the Dreamer (Book 1)
Series: Strange the Dreamer
Author: Laini Taylor
Genre: YA Fantasy
Publisher: Hodder & Stoughton
Format: Hardcover
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

29748925

Synopsis from Goodreads:

The dream chooses the dreamer, not the other way around—and Lazlo Strange, war orphan and junior librarian, has always feared that his dream chose poorly. Since he was five years old he’s been obsessed with the mythic lost city of Weep, but it would take someone bolder than he to cross half the world in search of it. Then a stunning opportunity presents itself, in the person of a hero called the Godslayer and a band of legendary warriors, and he has to seize his chance or lose his dream forever.

What happened in Weep two hundred years ago to cut it off from the rest of the world? What exactly did the Godslayer slay that went by the name of god? And what is the mysterious problem he now seeks help in solving?

The answers await in Weep, but so do more mysteries—including the blue-skinned goddess who appears in Lazlo’s dreams. How did he dream her before he knew she existed? And if all the gods are dead, why does she seem so real?

Welcome to Weep.


Honestly, it is so hard to review this book because I’m trying to avoid spoilers at all cost! I feel like if I go into detail with plot, summary, and the CHARACTERS, then I will definitely just spoil the whole experience of this book. Therefore this is going to be short and to the point.

Strange the Dreamer is about the story of a boy that goes by the name of Lazlo Strange. He is an orphan and left by monks to take care of him. We see Lazlo Strange grow up from child to young adulthood throughout the first quarter of the book. Lazlo Strange is fascinated with the lost city of Weep, he loves it so much that he became obsessed with it. Finding remnants of the city throughout this huge library in his town for years and years to come. He had a collection of books, pages, and thoughts all over his room. There is various reasons why he is called Strange the Dreamer but you should read the book to find out why!

Lazlo Strange is a soft nerdy boy that we all just want to take care of. I mean, at least I do. He has a sweet soul and is in search of all the answers to his questions in regards to the lost city of Weep. However, one mysterious day the Godslayer from Weep comes into town and things are about to take a drastic change in Lazlo’s life. Maybe all his questions will be finally answered. But things aren’t as always as they seem. And instead Lazlo is filled with even more questions.

There are a lot more stranger things happening in the lost city of Weep and definitely some secrets being kept that get unraveled throughout the book. We meet a lot of important characters and when I say a lot, I mean PLENTY! Lazlo who felt like he never had a purpose in life, finally feels like his purpose is coming to life.

Strange the Dreamer is definitely a fantasy book filled with fables/storytelling vibes. I loved Laini’s writing and rich detailing. This story is told in third person divided into different sections. I am even surprised that I loved this one so much since I never finished her other series. I would highly recommend this one. I apologize for being really vague here, but again. I feel like anything in this book can be a spoiler.

StrangeTheDreamer 03.pngthis photo is not mine, credit goes to Midnight Designs

have you read this book? what were your thoughts?
let’s talk in the comments!


Instagram: @chicnerdreads
Twitter: @ChicNerdReads
Goodreads: Gretchen (ChicNerdReads)

it was 8:43am

demons
are
real

they exist through
my mental illness

the torment of
thoughts i go
through in my
mind is
unfathomable

i long for a day
that i wake up okay,
with strength and
courage to do
what is needed

yet for now,
they continuously
l i n g e r

showing in hues
of exhaustion
insecurities
and anxiety