some kind of self-love

i have found to be
that love is not
as cruel as people
make it out to be.

that although
painful, it is
worthwhile
to have love.

the love that
you have for
yourself,
within
y o u r s e l f .

the love for
yourself
that carries you
and takes you
across oceans.

a type of self-love
that no one can
take away,
no matter who
comes along.

a love for
yourself
that is worth
breathing in
and living.

a self-love that
you will wade for.

a letter to the moon

dear moon,

come sing to me
on the nights
i feel lonely.

know that you can
tell me your
darkest secrets
for i have them too.

please share with me
what the stars
have planned,
yet keep me
in suspense.

may i keep
you company?
you remind me
of myself.

sometimes i look
at you and wonder
if the clouds blanket
you with safety
when you don’t
want to be seen..

because the weight
of the world
probably rest on you,
knowing that i am
not the only person
writing this letter
to the moon.

May Wrap-Up 2017

My overdue wrap-up is here lol! Finally!! I will keep this short and to the point! I read 5 books in the month of May, slowly but surely I am getting into the hang of things when it comes to reading. Working a full-time job, writing, having a poetry book, being a dog mom, and just adulting. AHH!!!!…I’m happy to get back into the swing of things!

What I Read:

29748925
Strange the Dreamer (Strange the Dreamer #1) by Laini Taylor ★★★★★ 

Genre: YA Fantasy
I wrote a mini spoiler free book review because although this is a very long book, everything is a spoiler lol.

 

 

 

 

 


32890474
The Seafarer’s Kiss by Julia Ember ★★★★★

Genre: YA Fantasy, LGBTQ+, Retelling
I thought this Little Mermaid retelling was amazing!!! It was the perfect balance of a retelling with originality. Add some Norse Mythology into the mix and you have The Seafarer’s Kiss! I have a review here.

 

 

 

 


35076006
Table for One by Laura Ashley Laraque ★★★★★

Genre: Poetry
A collection of poetry that tells a story about a toxic relationship and overcoming it. If you like poetry and want to check some pieces, I have a review here where you can read my thoughts as well!

 

 

 

 

 

 


35014002
Afterlife by Melissa Jennings ★★★★★

Genre: Poetry
I cannot stop gushing about this collection. It’s amazing and dark!! I love love loved it and I cannot wait to read more about this author. I have a review with some poems here.

 

 

 

 

 


34688452
I Am More Than a Daydream by Jennae Cecelia ★★★★

Genre: Poetry
I didn’t write a review for this book but this is what I wrote on Goodreads:
If you are looking for poetry that is positive and inspiring, then this is the book you will want to pick up. Jennae writes about strength and adds themes of self-acceptance and self-love. I really enjoyed the body positive poems! And the artwork was great too!

 

 

 


Some poems I posted in May:
it was 8:43am
it’s 11:somethingP.M. and i wrote a thing

again, I’m trying to get in the hang of things but I do also post poetry on my instagram! my instagram username is chicnerdreads


Things That Happened in May:

My blog turned 1 on May 20th!!!!! eeeeeeeek! time does really fly and it’s been an amazing year with blogging! I met some of the greatest people and it’s been such an ease with my anxiety as well. I also got to find out about books that I NEVER heard of! I did a Q&A and fellow bloggers asked me the coolest questions. If you’d like to check it out, click the banners and it will take you to the post ❤


Untitled-48


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and that’s about it! how was your may? have you read any of these books or plan on too? let’s chat in the comments!! =)


Instagram: @chicnerdreads
Twitter: @ChicNerdReads
Goodreads: Gretchen (ChicNerdReads)

Afterlife by Melissa Jennings Mini Poetry Review

Title: Afterlife
Author: Melissa Jennings
Publisher: CreateSpace
Format: Paperback
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

35014002

Synopsis from Goodreads:

“The sun does not rise when you need it most. You rise instead.”
Afterlife is a collection of poetry about catharsis, self-love, and self-revolution. Afterlife is a journey from the darkness to the light again, and again, and again.


This poetry book is now officially a part of my favorites collection because OMG!!! you need to read this one and pick it up. Melissa definitely took me through all the feels with this one. If you love dark poetry that is empowering and speaks for itself, you’ll have to pick this one up for sure.

Melissa Jennings talks about mental health, pain, self-love, recovery, and so much more. The author makes mentions of different beautiful metaphors in a dark way that will have you THINK. Although I consider this dark poetry, they definitely uplift the reader to light and accepting the light that we are. Through all these beautiful dark poems, I found strength and power. AMAZING! And I cannot wait to read more by this author!


some of my favorites:

THE GHOST WE HIDE

Don’t let the ghost stay:

They’ve haunted for long enough.

It’s time to free their souls

From the home inside your head,

So they don’t live long enough

To become skeletons.


LET THE GODDESSES TAKE ME AWAY

I will end

The way

I began:

A child of chaos.


DROWNING REFLECTION

I look in
The mirror,
Searching
For answers,

But,

My hands
Are bleeding
From the glass,
As if

Time
was
slipping
out
of
my
grasp


if you’re interested in checking out this beautiful collection click here:
Amazon USA | Amazon UK


Instagram: @chicnerdreads
Twitter: @ChicNerdReads
Goodreads: Gretchen (ChicNerdReads)

my poetry book is on sale!

 

IMG_0594hey everyone! i hope you are all having a wonderful day and weekend to come! just wanted to let you all know that while i’m at BookCon, the paperback version of my poetry book is officially on sale for $6.38 via Amazon for the next few days. it’s also on sale on other parts of the world via Amazon. if they ship to you, check it out! be aware that my poetry book has mature content. and if you aren’t into paperbacks, i also have an ebook version with kindle unlimited as well! below are the links!

GoodreadsAmazon USAAmazon UK


synopsis:
one day i met a guy
who stole my heart,
we created a world
for ourselves.
and another day
he broke my heart
and shattered
my soul.

i took the tattered
pieces of this
broken soul and
became anew.

– here lies the hurting, the healing, and the learning


if you’ve read my book already, i would love it if you left a rating and small review on Amazon! it would help me a great deal. thank you! ❤

Instagram: @chicnerdreads
Twitter: @ChicNerdReads
Goodreads: Gretchen (ChicNerdReads)

it’s 11:somethingP.M. and i wrote a thing

i have tendencies of
simply disappearing.
if i don’t want to be seen
by you, i will make that happen.

sometimes, i feel like
i’m just a facade.
you see me online…
you read my writing…
but you still don’t get
all of me.

there are pieces of myself
i have yet to discover.
there are pieces of myself
that i will take to my grave.

i find the human mind
very fascinating,
deep like the ocean.
never – ending.

Q&A – Part 1! i can’t believe my blog turns 1 today

It’s my one year blogiversary today and I cannot believe it’s been a year already!!! A FREAKING YEAR!! I have learned so much throughout this year and have met some really amazing people. Blogging has been such a great experience for me. Thank you all for riding along with me. I am so happy to be here. I would’ve never thought I would make it this far and stay CONSISTENT! I know I miss out a week here and there but for the first time, I’m actually consistent and not abandoning ship here.

Reminder that my poetry book love, and you is 99¢ via kindle today!!! Click on the photo for the link!

I posted a Q&A announcement earlier this week and many of you asked me questions! This blog post will be dedicated to those questions! Let’s get started =)

Misty @ mistysbookspace:

Q: Will you be writing another poetry book?
A: Yes!! I have a few in mind! One of them is pretty much done.

Q: What is one thing you have learned while blogging that you think other/newbie bloggers should know??
A: Take part in the community! I think it’s important to give back to the community and I mean that as in commenting and liking other people’s post. And definitely don’t be afraid to be yourself on your blog!


Danielle @ Books, Vertigo and Tea

Q: If you could look back to when you very first decided you wanted to publish a full book what advice would you give yourself?
A: To relax and take it easy. And that your book isn’t for everyone so just because someone doesn’t like it, doesn’t mean I’m not a writer or that my experiences aren’t genuine. I have stressed myself and lost so much sleep over my first book baby that my body literally responded in a negative way to it. Which isn’t great, you know? But I’m a lot better now and on the days I feel low, I don’t check my stats and/or ratings at all.

Q: Is there anything all at that you feel you would do differently?
A: Yes! I wish would’ve looked for help (ex: therapy) sooner rather than later. I feel like that could’ve helped me a lot more with my mental state and anxiety.


Stephanie @ TeacherofYa

Q: When can you DM me and tell me about how you got your book published?
A: I’m self-published and I used createspace to publish my book.

Q: How long have you been blogging and what was your genre of choice when you started?
A: I have been blogging for exactly one year!! And I didn’t have a genre of choice because I love reading anything that interest me =D

Q: Did you always intend on your blog being an outlet for your poetry?
A: I definitely created my blog with the intent of sharing my love for books and sharing my writing pieces since booktube didn’t workout for that. I didn’t initially have poetry in mind but that just flowed out of me naturally, so yes? lol


Amanda @ Caffeinated Constellations

Q: If a poet uses a pen name do you recommend they register the copyright with the US copyright office before publishing?
A: oooooooo this one is hard because I use my real name and never looked up any of this info, I would definitely say though to register with US copyright office for sure! Make sure poet has all their paperwork ready before publishing the book so that way when the book is out, they have no problems with copyright infringement and the IRS (royalties).

Q:What advice would you give to a poet who really wants to self-publish but has self-doubt?
A: I would ASK if they were to place self-doubt aside, would they feel that their book is ready to publish? And if the answer was yes, I would then advice them that as long as they have that hope, let that hope drive them to publishing. I learned that self-doubt (in my case) is always there but as long as you have the drive and this is a goal that you want to accomplish, you have to pretty much fight with yourself and self-doubt. But when you win over yourself, it’s an amazing feeling that no one can give you but yourself.


Shanah @ Bionic Book Worm

Q: In your first year of blogging what achievement gave you the most sense of satisfaction and accomplishment?
A: my consistency in blogging and posting my writing pieces was the greatest achievement! I honestly tend to give up on things which is why I am super in shock that I’m even doing a one year blogiversary today because I thought I wasn’t going to make it this far lol.  Also! Posting my writing which is something very personal is really huge to me =)


Tiana @ The Book Raven

Q: What is it about poetry that draws you to it? 
A: I love how simple and complex poetry is all at the same time. I love how one stanza can be so short but pack so much power. It’s hard to even explain, the fact that you can say/write something so empowering with simple words draws me to poetry.

Q: And was there anyone in your life that introduced you to poetry?
A: No one specifically introduced me to poetry. My earliest memory of learning poetry was in school.


Lilly @ Lair of Books

Q: Will we be seeing more from your People I Once Knew series?
A: This will be a book in 2018! However, for copyright reasons, I will not be posting anymore of those poems here on the blog.

Q: What would you say has been the most valuable lesson you’ve learned while blogging? Any tips/advice for new bloggers?
A: Most valuable lesson is consistency with posting blogs and giving back to the community! Both of these things go hand in hand with one another! Tips for new bloggers is just to be yourself, make sure your blog is easy to navigate, and don’t be afraid to think outside the box. Sometimes thinking outside the box (ex: having a unique approach to writing reviews, tags, memes, etc) can be a really good thing for your blog.


Jessica @ Breathe and Read

Q: What was your favourite part of publishing your collection? 
A: Wow this is such a hard question! I think my favorite part of publishing was when I held the final copy in my hand. Knowing that one of my biggest dreams came true when I clicked the published button on CreateSpace was bittersweet. Side note to Jessica, I hope you publish your book! I feel like every writer knows when their book is ready and shouldn’t add more, it’s like a gut feeling. You got this!


Sydney @ Fire and Rain Books

Q: What is the first book you remember reading? 
A: The first book I remember reading is Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss

 


to be continued tomorrow!


Instagram: @chicnerdreads
Twitter: @ChicNerdReads
Goodreads: Gretchen (ChicNerdReads)

Poetry Book Haul

Here I am with another book haul! I mean, did the title give it away? lol! As a writer of poetry who also has a book, I feel like it’s so important to support other writers in the genre as well. I also love to read poetry. I have found myself not feeling alone a lot of the times while reading others work. There are so many indie poetry authors out right now that I feel like their voices need to be heard. Some poetry isn’t for everyone and that’s okay! While some like dark poetry, others might like positive happy poetry and some just don’t like poetry at all. I hope you find something here that you may like! =)

The order goes by purchased date!
Titles link to Goodreads

  • Honeybee by Trista Mateer
    Having been previously described as an “aggressively personal poet”, Trista Mateer takes this to heart and then to paper in her first collection. Presented more or less in the order it was written, the poetry in Honeybee is in turns bitter, tender, and messy. Following the course of a little more than a year, the poems showcased in Honeybee chronicle the on-again off-again process of letting go.
  • The Princess Saves Herself in this One by Amanda Lovelace (Andrews McMeel)
    “Ah, life- the thing that happens to us while we’re off somewhere else blowing on dandelions & wishing ourselves into the pages of our favorite fairy tales.”
    A poetry collection divided into four different parts: the princess, the damsel, the queen, & you. the princess, the damsel, & the queen piece together the life of the author in three stages, while you serves as a note to the reader & all of humankind. Explores life & all of its love, loss, grief, healing, empowerment, & inspirations.
  • Empty Hotel Rooms Meant For Us by Christina Hart
    This collection of poetry focuses on dismembered loves, present and past, as past lovers aren’t actually in the past for the author. She carries parts of them with her, even though their hearts are no longer hers.

 

  • Her Treasures by Fida Islaih
    Islaih shares her travel to Malaysia. She continues to share more of her thoughts on Palestine. More poems include her love for her sisters, faith and words.
  • Tell Me Where It Hurts by J.R. Rogue
    Bestselling author J.R. Rogue returns with her second volume of poetry, Tell Me Where It Hurts, a raw, heartbreaking, and honest glimpse into the demons she has faced in her 33 years.
  • Mad Woman by Kat Savage
    Author of Learning to Speak, Kat Savage, returns with Mad Woman whish is comprised of 40 pieces that capture her stream on conscious, her confessions, and her strange thoughts. In Mad Woman, she bears it all and embraces her madness driven by loneliness and disappointment.

 

  • soft magic. by Upsile Chisala
    ‘soft magic.’ is the debut collection of prose and poetry by Malawian writer, Upile Chisala. This book explores the self, joy, blackness, gender, matters of the heart, the experience of Diaspora, spirituality and most of all, how we survive. ‘soft magic.’ is a shared healing journey.
  • Walking through the Forest: love, loss and other tall trees by Elizabeth Ann
    love, loss, pain, healing, poetry.
    Elizabeth shares her experience with heartache and grief by embracing acceptance and self-love in a collection of poetry written with straight forward vulnerability.
    Join her walk through the forest, surrounded by love, loss, and other tall trees.
  • Stuff I’ve Been Feeling Lately by Alicia Cook (Andrews McMeel)
    In Alicia Cook’s second poetic effort, designed in the style of an old mixtape, she sets her thoughts to a nostalgic tune. There is no Table of Contents. Instead, there is a “Track List,” making it easy to refer to them to your friends with a, “Hey did you read track seven?!” There are no chapters. Instead, the book is divided into two parts, or as one would say in the 90’s, two “sides.” Side A holds poetry that touches on all aspects of the human condition like life, death, love, moving on, evolving, growing up, hometowns, family dynamic, life after trauma, and make-ups and breakups. Side B holds the “remixes” of these poems, in the form of blackout poetry, also known as “found poetry.” Side B gives the material a fresh twist by creating new poetry out of Side A. There is also a very special surprise at the end of each track.

 

  • Yellow by Alannah Radburn
    This book is a collection of poems. Yellow explores the feelings of love, happiness, heartbreak, grief, resilience and healing. It is an homage to the author’s most recent relationship. Strong feminist and LGBT+ undertones emanate from within the pages. Though it celebrates a relationship between two women, its themes and emotions are universal.
  • I Am More Than A Daydream by Jennae Cecelia
    How often do you daydream? For most, it is many times a day. We stare out the window instead of the task in front of us. We fantasize about where we would much rather be, the significant other we long for, our ideal job, the body we hope to see in the mirror, a healthier mindset, pure happiness in our lives and the lives of others, peace in this chaotic world. However, how many of us daydreamers believe these pleasant thoughts will truly turn into our reality? Daydreams are more than just short bursts of happiness that only our minds can see. I know I am more than a daydream; and you are, too.
  • lavender petals and a wild heart by Cheyenne Raine
    A lavender sky of words, thoughts, poetry and prose written with love and curiosity. A collection inspired by the emotions that flow from the heart due to the gentle presence of a wild and adventurous soul. This book dives into the mixture of warm and lovely feelings that blossom when adoring another’s heart.
  • Table for One by Laura Ashley Laraque
    This book talks about a female who has experienced what many have, heart break. In the midst of her pain, she takes on a journey to learn to love herself. Also, expressing emotions and looking back on memories that although left scars, have led her to sit at her table alone. Finding yourself is crucial and she explains how she accomplishes this day by day.
  • Bones in the Garden by McKayla Debonis
    Here lies the anatomy of the first Heartbreak.
    But,
    take my advice, you can grow, you can heal, you can learn, no matter what.
    Just pick yourself up and keep going.

and that is it for now! have you read any of these poetry books? let me know in the comments so we can talk ❤


Instagram: @chicnerdreads
Twitter: @ChicNerdReads
Goodreads: Gretchen (ChicNerdReads)

it was 8:43am

demons
are
real

they exist through
my mental illness

the torment of
thoughts i go
through in my
mind is
unfathomable

i long for a day
that i wake up okay,
with strength and
courage to do
what is needed

yet for now,
they continuously
l i n g e r

showing in hues
of exhaustion
insecurities
and anxiety