new year, new changes on chicnerdreads

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hey everyone! happy new year! i hope you all had a wonderful holiday and i hope that if you’re like me, you can breathe easy now that the holidays are over lol. i know that 2017 was a total blog fail for me and i’ve been hard on myself, especially since i don’t read as much as i used to. i have a whole blog post about what’s been going on here. i’ve been trying to maintain the same themes on my blog meanwhile having internal turmoil when i want to write about other things. at last!!!!!!!! i told myself to just do it and now you will see new things (i mean if you stay of course lol). i even changed my blogger header to this:

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my blog will consist of the usual:

  • book reviews
  • tags
  • poetry
  • bookish memes
  • book hauls

but now it will include these new type of post:

  • poet interviews
  • make-up hauls
  • make-up related post (routines, skincare, etc)
  • fashion haul
  • fashion related post (seasonal inspo, etc)
  • plan with me post
  • planner sticker hauls
  • conspiracy theory thursday
  • discussion type of post

and maybe some other things. who knows. i am super excited for all the new things coming this new year on chicnerdreads. i am learning to accept things as they are and to be kinder to myself. thanks for sticking around. i really appreciate it ❤

how was your new year?


instagram: @chicnerdreads
twitter: @chicnerdreads

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i would’ve never thought i would suck at blogging, yet here i am

well hello there, hi, long time no see. wow this feels so weird. i’m sitting in front of my screen with a blog post open and typing away. i miss those days, of losing myself in a blog post. i don’t even know where i’m going with this post but like i just need to write this out.

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you know i’ve been asked by 2 important people in my life if i’ve given up blogging for good and the answer is no i haven’t. so now you’re probably wondering, well then why haven’t you been blogging if you didn’t give up? if someone would’ve said to me that my life was going to change this much when i published a book, then maybe i would’ve expected this. the less blogging, little to no reading, being busy with writing, and life period with many exclamation points of adulting. i would’ve warned all of you if i knew this.

i refuse to shut down my blog. i have been stressing a little too much over my blog, my presence here, stressing over coming back, being accepted, and keeping things with how they used to be. instead, i’ve been thinking of changing things up here on chicnerdreads and starting fresh for the new year. with all these changes in less than a year, i have changed too. i’m still playing with some ideas for the blog and trying to balance my very hectic time-limited schedule. cause if you don’t know, i’m currently working on other projects, i have family here from PR that came immediately after Hurricane Maria, and now the holidays are here.

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all in all, i wanted to say hey hi, i miss you all and think about you often.

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venom and fire shouldn’t be paired together

i take a few steps
back to look at the
scenery before me.

i wonder if maybe
i should spew the
words my heart
so much desires.

the scenery looks
like a wildfire filled
with disastrous
complications.

the scenery looks
to be filled with
more problems
than peace.

the scenery looks
like pain and
heartache.

the scenery looks
like a dead end
leading to absolutely
n o w h e r e .

these words will
only add more
fuel to a fire that
can’t be put out.

– my silence has always been the loudest conversation in the room

i don’t know if this makes sense

i have walked these
dreadful feet through
mud filled with agony,
hate, hurt, burden, and
loss. at the end of
the hard walk, i’ve
still found myself
standing in a dark
tunnel of madness.

the best times for me
are always in my
silence wondering
about nothing. yet,
still figuring myself
out all at the same time.

feeling some type of
comfort after a breath
in those times of needing
myself rather than
anybody else.

because i am loner with a soul and a heart of stone

august/september wrap-up, life update, and 6 months of love, and you?

giphy-41hi hello hola! i am back!! i missed you all and it feels great to be back after a month of me gone. a lot has happened and i’m not sure i’m ready to talk about it. september was a really hectic month with everything i spoke about in my hiatus post, my birthday, and hurricane maria..it’s a lot to deal with at the moment but i’m happy to be back in my element again. it’s been a little over a month and i just wanted to come back so bad *cries for ever*

 

 


 

giphy-42if you are wondering why i mentioned hurricane maria or if you don’t follow me on twitter, then know i am Puerto Rican. although i have my immediate family here in the states. i want to say 98% of my family is in Puerto Rico. ever since the hurricane hit, this has been one of the toughest times. with not knowing about my family for a few days, to then us finding out that yes they are okay and alive but there’s no food and water. being over here and feeling so helpless. it’s a lot to take in. my family also happens to be on the west side which is always forgotten. the town my family is in isn’t even receiving supplies. this whole situation just sucks..let’s not even talk about the president *eye roll* therefore, i wanted to use this platform and let you know that there is a way to help by maybe donating here:


The Wrap Up’s

i didn’t read much these past two months due to everything that has been going on in my life. i read 3 poetry books and 2 YA novels.

  • Stalking Jacking the Ripper (SJTR #1) by Kerri Maniscalco
    A 4 star read for me! This YA Historical Fiction Mystery is definitely a book that I would highly recommend. I loved the story, the setting, the steampunk elements and the mystery. This book was worth every single turned page. I cannot wait to read Hunting Prince Dracula which I am seeing is getting tons of more love. If you click the title of the book, it will lead you to my review =)
  • Warcross (Warcross #1) by Marie Lu
    A 5 star and all of the above read!!!! This futuristic YA Sci-Fi novel will set you in a technological advanced world where you get to live in a virtual reality and still live in the real world. This book was definitely a favorite read for 2017. I cannot wait to read the next books!! The title of this book will lead you to my rave review.

each of these poetry books were 5 stars
titles will take you to goodread page

  • [redacted] by trista mateer
    This comes in the form of handwritten notes and poetry fragments, iPhone note poetry, tweets, Craigslist ads, and more. This mix of poetry and prose spans a single month and covers topics such as heartbreak, gender, sexuality, and forgiveness.
    That’s the goodreads synopsis. Are you convinced yet? You should read it.
  • Mad Woman by Kat Savage
    Mad Woman whish is comprised of 40 pieces that capture her stream on conscious, her confessions, and her strange thoughts. In Mad Woman, she bears it all and embraces her madness driven by loneliness and disappointment.
    I CRIED SO MUCH WHILE READING THIS BOOK. I FELT LIKE SHE WROTE THIS ONE FOR ME. FOR THE BROKEN GIRLS WHO FEEL LIKE THEY CAN’T EXPRESS THEMSELVES. OMG THIS BOOK!!
  • The Last Time I’ll Write About You by Dawn Lanuza
    “Should I be
    Thankful
    Or
    Regretful
    That my only idea
    Of love
    Is
    You?”
    A book filled with heartbreak poetry and words of love and loss. I loved reading this. I was nodding my head with a lot of these poems because I understand the author’s words.

 

today so happens to be the 6 month anniversary of love, and you…which i can’t quite believe and i wrote a thing for all of you ❤ if you want to check more on my poetry book, click here.

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and that is all for now. sorry i’m a little all over the place lol. it feels great to be back and i cannot wait to blog hop, check what all of you have been up to. i plan on doing a book haul and book tag soon. maybe post a poem later on this week about my island puerto rico. my heart lays heavy. love you all!


instagram: @chicnerdreads
twitter: @chicnerdreads

life and a hiatus

have you ever blog hopped or just looked at people’s online accounts and wonder how their life is behind the screen? i do all the time because life isn’t so easy with me. and now i am sitting behind this screen crying cause anxiety isn’t very nice either. i don’t talk much about my personal life on here because this is my escape but i can only imagine that maybe you have a glimpse if you’ve read my poetry. there are people i talk to everyday who don’t have the slightest clue of what goes on in my brain and personal life, i’m not one to spill all of my guts out. but i guess i’ll share a little with you today since i am going on a hiatus for a few weeks.

i was born and raised in the bronx, i still live here in the bx. i always knew that one day i wanted to move out, things aren’t getting any better here. there is a thing called gentrification which is affecting all of this city. if you don’t know what gentrification means, here is the online definition: the process of renovating and improving a house or district so that it conforms to middle-class taste. in other words, all the poor people are forced to move out and since the bronx is the cheapest/poorest, a lot of people are coming here. in which has affected a lot of the residents from the bronx. many people have misconceptions of the bronx which gets me really angry because thankfully i never had to deal with being robbed/stabbed/shot, etc. i need you to know that crimes happen everyday, everywhere.

however, these past few years have gotten really bad because there is an overpopulation of people like never before. the current neighborhood that i live in has gotten out of control and we cannot deal with it anymore. there are currently 4 houses being sold on my block alone, including mine, so we are moving out of the bronx which means i have to finally learn how to drive….driving is a very scary thing for me. i have traumas due to accidents and this city isn’t very driver friendly. i tense up, get panic attacks, my mind gets blocked when i think of getting behind the wheel. but i have to do it which is why i’m going on a hiatus. there are also a lot of other things going on in my life but selling my house, getting another home, moving, my divers license just happened out of nowhere and i need to focus on that. my family needs me and so i need to take a break before something bad happens health wise. having paranoia, depression, and anxiety isn’t easy to deal with, especially with all that’s going on. there are decisions in my personal life that i need to make. i love my blog and i never want to stop blogging, i just need to go away for a few weeks till things get settled again. cause right now my mind is going on a mile per minute. so i really hope you stay while i’m away ❤