jodios pendejos

you say feminist like if i’m going home
with you tonight. you say feminist like if
we flirtin’ all night. like if..life if i’m gettin’
wet for you tonight. oh, you ain’t know?
it’s the sahara desert down there.

you say feminist the same way you
say babygirl and mami. you know i
like that shit. you say it like if..like if
you’re waiting for me to call you papi.
the only man i call papi is my papi.
the man who gave me life and wings to fly.

you say feminist in the same breath you
degrade women. like if..like if i’m supposed
to take that as a compliment. like if a man
runs up on her, you expect me to say that
she deserves it cause her skirt too short.

oh you ain’t know? i like wearing the skirts
and the dresses that hug the curves i was
blessed with. does that mean i deserved it too?

you say feminist like if gold drips out your
mouth and i’m supposed to swallow it.
thank you for the flaunting, i’ll see myself out now.

being bipolar is an extreme sport

i never talk about this. being bipolar. because you automatically think that i’m happy one second and really angry the next. being bipolar is staying up all night researching the 3 states i’ll most likely move to, knowing the exact towns, looking at homes, calculating the money that i have/i’ll make and see if it’s worth the investment.

being bipolar is creating a thought in my head,painting a scenario, feeding it, yelling action, then yelling cut, adding another scene, taking away characters that don’t add up to the story, and finally falling asleep. but i only sleep for an hour or so at a time till my body twitches for the next fucking extremity. this next extremity is hungry for information. it’s 3 in the goddamn morning and i’m searching “cold cases” which subconsciously i know i shouldn’t do. you see, they’ll feed into my paranoia and when i’m in this extreme state, there is no stopping me, what is rationalizing?

nothing is satisfying me at this point, i’m delusional, i’ve written so many dark things on the notebook i keep on my nightstand. poems that i tell myself, maybe i’ll share them on instagram one day. now i’m thinking about instagram and my writing and i start getting angry at how the world thinks likes on instagram means success. what does success mean to me? it means quality, now i’m searching for books on being a quality writer and i’ve added all these books to my private wishlist on amazon. i already checked out these writers online but i don’t follow any of them. so i just keep writing and writing and writing, nonsense, none of it makes sense. my alarm rings at 6:50am but who needs an alarm when you’ve been up all night? my best friends text me wishing a great day. the guy who still checks on me from time to time tells me he loves me. my neighbor says good morning while he goes outside to smoke a cigarette. and no one knows that i’ve just had a manic episode and that soon i’ll isolate myself because i’m hollow now and i’m crying for no reason. i’m falling from the high.


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April Wrap-Up 2017

Hi everyone!!! I’m always late to the monthly wrap-up party but they do say better late than never right? I had a way better month reading-wise in April than in March. Whereas in March, I read no books due to my book being released April 4th and I was a ball of mess and stress. With getting things ready and formatting the e-book of my poetry book, it was hard. In April I read tons of Poetry books because it was National Poetry Month, let’s get started on the books I read in April!

What I Read:

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Walking Through the Forest by Elizabeth Ann ★★★★★
Genre: Poetry
This debut poetry book is definitely worth the word. It’s about divorce, pain, healing, and self-love. I wrote a review for it here.

 

 

 

 

 


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Stuff I’ve Been Feeling Lately by Alicia Cook ★★★★★
Genre: Poetry
From this book being self-pub to now published via Andrews McMeel.  This poetry book is about grief, love, and loss. Divided into two parts, Side A and Side B the remixes. I have a full review here.

 

 

 

 


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Hummingbird by Sophia Elaine Hanson ★★★★★ 
Genre: Poetry
A small poetry book about break-up, being heartbroken, and finding yourself. I have a mini-review here.

 

 

 

 

 


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We Are Okay by Nina Lacour ★★★★★ 
Genre: YA Contemporary, LGBTQ+
This book was so perfect and amazing. A book about a girl who suddenly moves from one the west coast to the east coast and completely changes her life, leaving everything behind, even the people she loves the most. Till her best friend from her old life comes to visit and has her face everything. I wrote a mini review for this 5 star read here.

 

 

 


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Poems I Found in my Closet by Evette Blue ★★★★★ 
Genre: Poetry
goodreads synopsis: I found poems I wrote during the late 90s to early 2000s buried deep in my closet. Perhaps they should have stayed there. These writings explore teenage and early adulthood angst, love, and loss. I wrote these poems during a time when I felt lost, full of hormones, and thought that every setback was the end of the world. It was also before I diagnosed with a mental illness. It turns out that it wasn’t the end of the world. Nearly 20 year later, I’m still standing.
The following poems won’t be the greatest poems you’ve ever read. I just hope they’re not the worst you’ve ever read.
These are artifacts from my life. Laugh. Cry. Cringe. Relate. Drag me on Goodreads. Experience every emotion possible.


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Love Poems I Found in my Closet ★★★★★ 
Genre: Poetry
goodreads synopsis: Technically I didn’t find these poems in my closet. They were on my flash drive. They were a part of the first very draft of a bestselling book I wrote under a different pen name. As the book took another direction, I felt like some of these writings didn’t have a place in the collection anymore.
Like the first volume, these poems explore love and loss. It’s about falling in love, falling into bed, and falling apart. I wrote these poems around 2007-2008 after falling in love and experiencing the perils of unrequited love.
Again, the following poems won’t be the greatest poems you’ve ever read. I just hope they’re not the worst poems you’ve ever read.
These are more artifacts from my life. Laugh. Cry. Cringe. Relate. Drag me. Experience every emotion possible.


 

Poems I Found in my Closet and Love Poems I Found in my Closet do not have reviews because they’re short and honestly both of them would be me gushing over them on how much I love them so much.


Some poems I posted:
is this the part where i apologize?
counting backwards from 10

things have been a little hectic since my poetry book released, in a good way. i’m slowly adjusting to change and i do plan on posting more poems here like i used to ❤


Things That Happened in April:

On April 4th, my poetry book both in paperback and e-book version released!! I have gotten so much love and great feedback, thank you for all those that have been supporting me through this journey. I have a whole post about my book release here:

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my poetry book may be purchased in Amazon (worldwide), kindle unlimited, Barnes & Noble (online), and Book Depository.


I also was invited to do a podcast on April 30th and it was uploaded a few days ago. I talk about my book, being Latina, diversity in books, amongst other things. Thank you to the wonderful Valeria Flores for having me! If you would like to listen to it, check it out here:

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And that is it for the month of April! What have you all been up to? I would love to chat in the comments! Hope you all have a lovely day =)


Instagram: @chicnerdreads
Twitter: @ChicNerdReads
Goodreads: Gretchen (ChicNerdReads)