When is enough, enough? Social media breaks, mental health, and pressures.

I’ve been wanting to do this discussion post since late March when I took a week off social media. I know a week isn’t a long time, however, it gave me a lot to think about. Furthermore, thinking more and more about it even after the break.

The past few months I find myself wanting to disconnect from social media. Being a self-published writer/poet who’s audience is via internet means it’s pretty hard to not stay connected. Especially if you want to keep growing/do well. There’s this ongoing pressure of always needing to stay on top, needing to know how to constantly win over the Instagram algorithm, figuring out how to use the hashtags, what time and day to post, feeling like I have to always prove something, cross-posting on all social media platforms, always showing that “I’m doing something”, on and on and on and it’s gotten exhausting. Do I ever look up from my phone at this point in my life?

Have we started measuring our success through likes? Are we constantly comparing ourselves to other people’s followings and likes? There are days when I feel like the answers to those questions are yes. And comparing isn’t always a bad thing because we can draw inspiration from others. However, when do we stop and say “hey it’s okay” “I’m okay with what I got” “take a break”?

I have found myself to not really care about social media anymore and like I said on twitter a few weeks ago, I’m probably self-sabotaging my writing career, however I’m not enjoying my life because I’m always on my phone. And I would much rather experience my real life than live it through other people’s accounts “wishing” that was me.

The algorithm olympics are tiring and I am no longer running in it. My mental health has also taken a toll. Because I was always on that thought pattern of needing to post daily and be on the move (online), I was ignoring my mental health and not taking care of myself as I should’ve. There came a point during this week off break when I sat and was thinking of all I was doing and got overwhelmed with so much sadness because it was during the time off that I noticed how time consuming it is. It was as if I have been robbed from time. And guess what? Time can’t ever be given back. I got so much done throughout that week and I really got to spend time with myself with no interruptions. I enjoyed that time.

This is not to say that social media is bad.  That’s not what I’m saying at all. Because of social media, I have met some of my closest friends and have gotten to connect with people all over the world. I understand that people (such as myself) have built a platform online and therefore we feel the responsibility to let you all know when we need a break. And I’m totally fine with that (I hate worrying people). What I’m trying to say is that there should be balance and not feel guilty at all when we want to shut off from the online world. There shouldn’t be any bad feelings when wanting and/or needing to unplug.

Lastly, I’m also frustrated with how much we have to do in order to be seen. For example, if I want to get a publishing deal, I have to meet a certain criteria. That criteria means how much traffic I’m getting on all my platforms (numbers on followers, likes, comments, etc.). On top of that, I have to work so much harder because I’m marginalized. I am a Latina from the Bronx, I don’t write pretty shit, I have a language barrier therefore I’m not eloquent, I don’t have the following to even get glanced at, etc. etc. So yeah it’s pretty frustrating when people don’t even look at your content, they look at your numbers first and if those numbers aren’t up to their standards, then forget the work. And also, seeing people with bigger followings just blatantly steal work/copy from smaller influencers is disheartening. I’ve seen this happen way too many times to my friends and I.

Thanks to therapy, I’ve learned to let go because there came a point where I was letting the frustration of social media consume me. I tried it all: posting daily, getting in chats so we can like our content immediately, always commenting, always sharing, etc. etc. Slowly I pulled back and asked myself when is enough, enough?

April Wrap-Up 2019

I am rusty, dusty, and cruuuuusty with these wrap-ups lol. I haven’t done one since Fall of 2017. You know what? This is a free judgment zone so please don’t lmao!

Alright so I want to do something different with these wrap-ups. I not only want to share what I read but also other things so let’s get started!!! All book titles will link you to Goodreads.


What I Read

  1. Ink and Bone by Lisa Unger ★★★★
    A mystery thriller novel with paranormal elements. My first Lisa Unger book and I really enjoyed it. Definitely has that atmospheric dark tone read but not scary at all. I have a non-spoiler review here.
  2. Baptized in Moonlight by Morgan Scott ★★★★
    A poetry collection on self, growth, journey, and many other topics. I am so glad that I got to this! I have a full review with some of my favorite poems here.
  3. Sanctuary (Beards & Bondage #2) by Rebekah Weatherspoon ★★★★
    An adult erotica romance, this is my second time reading the author’s work. I definitely enjoyed the first one a lot more. What I love most about the author’s books is that it includes people of color as her characters which make it that much more fun. No review but I would definitely recommend, starting with the first one, Haven.
  4. Miracle Creek by Angie Kim ★★★
    A courtroom drama mystery thriller novel about a Korean Immigrant family and an explosion that happened. I have my full thoughts in a non-spoiler review here.
  5. Where The Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens ★★★★
    A historical fiction coming of age novel with a little mystery in it. Wow, my favorite read of the month!!!! This book will stay with me for a long time. I have a full non-spoiler review here.
  6. The Simple Wild by K.A. Tucker ★★★★.5
    An adult contemporary romance about a young woman who’s absent father is sick and she goes to visit him to possibly reconnect somehow. However, during the trip to Alaska, she was not expecting to bond with the guy who’s been an asshole to her since she landed. This book has the hate to love trope and is definitely a slow burn romance. I highly enjoyed this book because it was more than the romance, it was about self as well.

After typing out all the books I’ve read, I’m really surprised with how much I read. I think I found the genres that are for me (Mystery, Thriller, Adult Romance).


Books Acquired

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ICYMI, I did my first ever monthly subscription box to Book of the Month! Check this post if you want to read all about it. I received Miracle Creek by Angie Kim.

 

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One Saturday after my therapy session, I wanted to go book shopping and spend some money on myself. I missed roaming Barnes and Noble in peace and looking at the books, deciding which books to get. I bought these three books that were on my TBR shelf (two already read *high fives myself*).

Books in photo:
Where The Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens
The Simple Wild by K.A. Tucker
Love and Other Words by Christina Lauren

 

 

I feel like I’m doing so good with acquiring books and reading them right away! I’ll be starting Love and Other Words this week so I’m on track!


What I Watched

the-orderThe Order is about a secret society in a university. Except this secret society is filled with witches and warlocks. However, other monstrous things start taking place. I loved this and I hope there’s a second season.quicksand-netflix-reviewQuicksand is a 6 episode mini series about a school shooting. The episodes are a timeline of what led to the school shooting and what we see in the courtroom. I didn’t love this mini series but it definitely kept me interested, wanting to know who really did it and who was going to be prosecuted. Trigger warnings for school shootings, blood, suicide, and drug use.
AAAABTmInXtUWRG5D2F8YeNXd-a3HKryfQYLYa94N-GMP59U_Fw5juFG51curJ3UaPH4VAQo5wK64Mq2ndET3xbt587vc7m1XO-cOkay so this was a total rewatch for me. I’ve watched this movie like 4 times already lol. It’s the true story of two former Texas Rangers who killed Bonnie and Clyde. I love it because they don’t romanticize Bonnie and Clyde. I also really do love a good ole drama thriller set in the 1930s. Old crime stories really fascinate me.

And last but definitely not least lol. Are we surprised? C’mon are we actually surprised? Of course I watched Endgame the first weekend it showed and I enjoyed it!! Game of Thrones also started in April and FINALLY!!! The wait is over, we will get to know what happens. Yes I have watched every episode since it has aired. What a time to be alive!


Other Mentions

IMG_6114In April, I went to go see Bad Bunny in concert!!! If you don’t know who Bad Bunny is, he is a Puerto Rican Latin Trap Artist. This is my second time seeing him live and wow what a great time I had. I definitely love his new album X100PRE and he never disappoints! Arcangel and El Alfa also joined the stage with him to sing some of their songs together. I got to meet up with some of my friends who I haven’t seen in a long time and I also got to look super cute lol. After the concert was over, I was starved. So my friend took me to this spot called The Meatball shop which was my first time ever trying. The food was great and I want to go back!

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But let’s talk about one of the most exciting things that happened this month!! BANKS came out with a new single titled Gimme and I have not stopped playing it at all. I have been waiting forever for Banks to drop something. She’s been hinting working in the studio for quite some time now and when this bop came out, I was not disappointed at all. I am so ready for an album. And I really hope she goes on tour to NYC so I can see her!

 


And that is all I have for today! What was the highlight of your April? Let’s chat in the comments!

Instagram: @chicnerdreads
Twitter: @chicnerdreads

jodios pendejos

you say feminist like if i’m going home
with you tonight. you say feminist like if
we flirtin’ all night. like if..life if i’m gettin’
wet for you tonight. oh, you ain’t know?
it’s the sahara desert down there.

you say feminist the same way you
say babygirl and mami. you know i
like that shit. you say it like if..like if
you’re waiting for me to call you papi.
the only man i call papi is my papi.
the man who gave me life and wings to fly.

you say feminist in the same breath you
degrade women. like if..like if i’m supposed
to take that as a compliment. like if a man
runs up on her, you expect me to say that
she deserves it cause her skirt too short.

oh you ain’t know? i like wearing the skirts
and the dresses that hug the curves i was
blessed with. does that mean i deserved it too?

you say feminist like if gold drips out your
mouth and i’m supposed to swallow it.
thank you for the flaunting, i’ll see myself out now.