this is a poem of how i break my own heart

this is a poem of how
i break my own heart

every single time
with every person
that has crossed
paths my way

i think about all
the ways you’ll
hurt me before
you ever see
my first smile

i think about how
much i’ll long for
you when we both
walk away from
whatever this is

i think about each
breath and how i’ll
become obsessed
reading your text
messages over and
over again just to
wear myself out

i think about how
i’ll see you with
someone else and
cry over the sadness
about how i’m going
through the same
shit again

and so i never
commit to anything
because i’ll be broken
before our first date