life and a hiatus

have you ever blog hopped or just looked at people’s online accounts and wonder how their life is behind the screen? i do all the time because life isn’t so easy with me. and now i am sitting behind this screen crying cause anxiety isn’t very nice either. i don’t talk much about my personal life on here because this is my escape but i can only imagine that maybe you have a glimpse if you’ve read my poetry. there are people i talk to everyday who don’t have the slightest clue of what goes on in my brain and personal life, i’m not one to spill all of my guts out. but i guess i’ll share a little with you today since i am going on a hiatus for a few weeks.

i was born and raised in the bronx, i still live here in the bx. i always knew that one day i wanted to move out, things aren’t getting any better here. there is a thing called gentrification which is affecting all of this city. if you don’t know what gentrification means, here is the online definition: the process of renovating and improving a house or district so that it conforms to middle-class taste. in other words, all the poor people are forced to move out and since the bronx is the cheapest/poorest, a lot of people are coming here. in which has affected a lot of the residents from the bronx. many people have misconceptions of the bronx which gets me really angry because thankfully i never had to deal with being robbed/stabbed/shot, etc. i need you to know that crimes happen everyday, everywhere.

however, these past few years have gotten really bad because there is an overpopulation of people like never before. the current neighborhood that i live in has gotten out of control and we cannot deal with it anymore. there are currently 4 houses being sold on my block alone, including mine, so we are moving out of the bronx which means i have to finally learn how to drive….driving is a very scary thing for me. i have traumas due to accidents and this city isn’t very driver friendly. i tense up, get panic attacks, my mind gets blocked when i think of getting behind the wheel. but i have to do it which is why i’m going on a hiatus. there are also a lot of other things going on in my life but selling my house, getting another home, moving, my divers license just happened out of nowhere and i need to focus on that. my family needs me and so i need to take a break before something bad happens health wise. having paranoia, depression, and anxiety isn’t easy to deal with, especially with all that’s going on. there are decisions in my personal life that i need to make. i love my blog and i never want to stop blogging, i just need to go away for a few weeks till things get settled again. cause right now my mind is going on a mile per minute. so i really hope you stay while i’m away ❤

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54 thoughts on “life and a hiatus

  1. My heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry you have to deal with all of this and it does sound like it’s a lot on you. I hope things can and do ease up on you soon. You’re loved and appreciated so much, I’m glad you’re taking time to handle all of this instead of forcing yourself to keep an online presence. Here for you if ever need ❤ Always sending positive vibes your way

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  2. I’m so sorry Gretchen. Life can be a real jerk sometimes. It sounds like you have quite a lot to deal with in your personal life right now! Please, take all the time you need. I really respect how self-aware you are; that’s important for mental and physical health!

    You have done a wonderful job making a positive mark on this community. Your followers will be here when you get back, and we are so thankful that you are taking time for YOURSELF. Not enough bloggers do that. I wish you all the best with everything. If you ever need a pep-talk, let me know. I think you’re magical and amazing. I want to tell you every moment I can. 😀

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  3. so sorry for this turbulent time! all the best to you and mostly I wish you strength and energy to face the next few weeks. I have a similar mental health state and I know it can be excruciating at times. hang in there! don’t hesitate to reach out and ask people around you for help! good luck and see you online soon!

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  4. Please let me know if you ever need to talk! I am sending you love and positive thoughts!! I know we don’t know each other well, but I am always home, so if you ever need someone to talk to or just listen, send me a message on Twitter. Sometimes a far away friend can be a support system! I hope the move goes smoothly. You take as much you time as you need. I will definitely be here when you get back! ❤

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  5. I read your post earlier today & got really emotional cuz you aren’t my twin for nothing & I can only imagine the amt of anxiety you’re experiencing. Listening to your voice notes the other night I could really hear how much this is affecting you. I’m not the best with words, never have been but I’m always going to be there when you need me to listen. As always, we have voice notes, text, phone calls, & FT. I think this is for the best while you give yourself time to get sorted out & like you said be there for your family. You all are a strong bunch with a beautiful bond, I know things will work themselves out for the best. I love you now & always twin! 💕

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  6. Good luck with everything! Use these weeks off for self care and for being there for your family during this difficult time. I look forward to reading your posts again- when YOU are ready!

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  7. I’m sorry that you have to move, that is a bummer. I’ve been to the bronx once, and I have to say that my experience was good, although I’m sorry to hear that they’re trying to kick everyone out 😦 I agree crime happens evverrrrywheeeereeee! Like everyone thinks Canada is this safe zone; and yes for the most part people are nice, but crime happens here too, I think a lot more than people (who don’t live here) think.
    ANYWAYS, all this to say that I hope things look up for you. 🙂 ❤️
    Sorry this comment got kinda rant-y :\

    Liked by 1 person

    • No need to apologize, trust me I know exactly how that feels! I’m usually more scared of places that aren’t really heard about more than anything. Gentrification sucks and the bronx being overpopulated is just a no no for us. Thank you!! ❤

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  8. Depression and anxiety makes the smallest of things feel impossible. And any other tiny thing that comes up feels huge. I’m sorry so much is happening right now. I hope that things can calm down for you soon ❤️ I know it’s not easy to step away from something you love, but it may damage the blogging escape if you push it. We will be here when you get back. Best of luck!

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  9. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this all at once. I can only imagine what you are going through right now. I am glad you have decided to take som time off to look after you and your family. Take all the time you need and I will be hear waiting for your return!!💕

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  10. Oh Gretchen I’m so sorry this is something you’re dealing with at the moment. It sounds like taking a step away from blogging will be the best thing for you, though I’m sure everyone on WordPress will miss you (I definitely will). I really hope things get better for you soon, in the meantime just look after yourself! 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Oh my goodness, this sounds like so much to deal with. It’s definitely good to take a break during times like these. Please take care of yourself!!I wish you the best of luck, and I’m sending all the virtual hearts (and cups of boba!!) in the world. 💓

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  12. i’m sending you all the love and good vibes, gretchen ♥ i’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. i know how hard it is to live with anxiety and depression and you are such a strong person. i’ll miss your posts, but it’s 100% understandable why you need to take a break. i love you and if you ever need to vent feel free to DM me on twitter.

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  13. There’s no shame in taking a little break to handle your shit! I myself took a month long hiatus in August because we are also going through the moving process. I can sympathize! I hope everything goes smoothly for you with the move & getting your driver’s license. Hugs! See you when you get back 🙂

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  14. I thought I had commented on this but now do not see it. Anyways, you know I have all the love for you and am here always. I will wait until you have time to text and we will catch up. Just remember that you occupy my thoughts and I am sending all the love ❤

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