life and a hiatus

have you ever blog hopped or just looked at people’s online accounts and wonder how their life is behind the screen? i do all the time because life isn’t so easy with me. and now i am sitting behind this screen crying cause anxiety isn’t very nice either. i don’t talk much about my personal life on here because this is my escape but i can only imagine that maybe you have a glimpse if you’ve read my poetry. there are people i talk to everyday who don’t have the slightest clue of what goes on in my brain and personal life, i’m not one to spill all of my guts out. but i guess i’ll share a little with you today since i am going on a hiatus for a few weeks.

i was born and raised in the bronx, i still live here in the bx. i always knew that one day i wanted to move out, things aren’t getting any better here. there is a thing called gentrification which is affecting all of this city. if you don’t know what gentrification means, here is the online definition: the process of renovating and improving a house or district so that it conforms to middle-class taste. in other words, all the poor people are forced to move out and since the bronx is the cheapest/poorest, a lot of people are coming here. in which has affected a lot of the residents from the bronx. many people have misconceptions of the bronx which gets me really angry because thankfully i never had to deal with being robbed/stabbed/shot, etc. i need you to know that crimes happen everyday, everywhere.

however, these past few years have gotten really bad because there is an overpopulation of people like never before. the current neighborhood that i live in has gotten out of control and we cannot deal with it anymore. there are currently 4 houses being sold on my block alone, including mine, so we are moving out of the bronx which means i have to finally learn how to drive….driving is a very scary thing for me. i have traumas due to accidents and this city isn’t very driver friendly. i tense up, get panic attacks, my mind gets blocked when i think of getting behind the wheel. but i have to do it which is why i’m going on a hiatus. there are also a lot of other things going on in my life but selling my house, getting another home, moving, my divers license just happened out of nowhere and i need to focus on that. my family needs me and so i need to take a break before something bad happens health wise. having paranoia, depression, and anxiety isn’t easy to deal with, especially with all that’s going on. there are decisions in my personal life that i need to make. i love my blog and i never want to stop blogging, i just need to go away for a few weeks till things get settled again. cause right now my mind is going on a mile per minute. so i really hope you stay while i’m away ❤